Thursday, May 28, 2009

A Loss of Wisdom doth a Vampire Make...

This past week proved to be a very interesting one in my book. After far too many dentist appointments over the past couple weeks, I had my wisdom teeth removed last Friday. The fun there was definately nonexistent.

As soon as I walked into the operating room, the surgeon jumped me with a tourniquet, and they started prepping the IV for anesthesia. I saw them messing around with a gargantuan needle and informed the staff that there was going to be no sticking of needles into my veins before I had my music on.

It took me a few minutes to adjust my new iPod, and then as soon as I gave the surgeon the go-ahead - pain lanced through my arm. And after that, I drifted off into a land of unnatural, anesthetic-induced sleep, carried on the strains of an Andrea Bocelli song.

The next thing I knew, I was awake.

But alas, I couldn't move or talk. It's a good thing I'd been warned about the after effects of anesthesia... otherwise I would have most certainly panicked. I couldn't move my body properly, nor could I speak. It was most unsettling.

But the fun was yet to come.
Lots of blood.
Blood filling my mouth, and dripping down the side of my lips.
My blood.
Blood that is meant to remain in my body.

The tech asked me if I was doing okay. I told her I'd be fine - so long as she took the needle out of my arm.
Right now.
I could feel the IV needle in my arm still - and it hurt.
But she said that I had to completely recover from the anesthesia before they could remove the needle.

Finally I recovered to their satisfaction and they removed the needle.
But I was still bleeding.
They gave me gauze to wipe away the blood, but I could still taste it. Sickly sweet.
I felt like a vampire - not the best feeling in the world.
The vampiric feeling became far more prominent when I went into the bathroom to rinse my mouth out.

My teeth were stained red with blood.
My blood.
Blood that I wished was still in my body.

It was a relief to leave the office. On the way home, I got a milkshake per instructions. I discovered something rather morbid but interesting nonetheless.

Human blood by itself doesn't taste that bad. It's not pleasant, but neither is it horrible.
Human blood mixed with a chocolate milkshake however... that is enough to wrench the stomach with nausea. It was horrid. I wanted to puke, but my body wouldn't let me.

I have never been as happy to brush my teeth as I was that day. Once the bloodstains were brushed away, and the taste of blood had faded, I felt a bit more like a human, and less like a the twisted, evil creature out of legend.

The next few days were. . . interesting. . . to say the least. The medication that I was on made me so dizzy I couldn't walk without wavering. It took a good five days or so for the effects to wear off and for me to be steady enough to return to normal.

But now my lack of wisdom teeth is healing quite nicely, and I shouldn't have to be returning to the dentist for some time now - for which I am extremely grateful.

But anyway... it is late, and seeing as I am not a vampire, nor am I nocturnal, I am active in the day, and therefore I at least make an attempt to sleep during the night.
So goodnight everyone
and may you never have to lose your wisdom. . . .teeth. . .

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